Myrna entered more numbers into the spreadsheet on her computer. Her surveyChapter 38
gave consistent, reliable data and showed two strong behavioral trends among
the groupies. She had no doubt that this research was going to save her entire
career. And if it didn’t, it wasn’t the end of the world. She’d started working on
a proposal for a nonfiction book guaranteed to be a bestseller.
“I hope you’re smiling like that because you’re thinking about me,” Brian
said.
She glanced up from the computer screen. She hadn’t heard him enter the bus.
He kissed her cheek and slid into the booth across from her.
Her smile brightened. “I’m always thinking about you.”
There was a clatter near the front of the bus as Trey entered. “Myrna,” he
said, “look what I’ve got.”
“Cherry suckers?” she guessed.
“Fresh shrimp. One of the roadies bought them. Will you make some shrimp
scampi?” He set the bag on the table and gave her his puppy dog look. The one
he knew she couldn’t resist. “Pwease.”
She smiled at him and nodded. “After I finish entering this data.” She started
typing in the next row of numbers.
“You mean, after I finish entering you,” Brian said.
She glanced up from her computer screen. Brian gave her that other look she
couldn’t resist. That “get naked immediately” look. She saved her file and closed
the laptop, stuffing the stack of papers under the computer. “Sorry, Trey. Brian
wins.”
“But I’m starving.”
“We’ll be finished in an hour or two,” Brian said.
“Or four,” Myrna said.
“Or four.” Brian slid out of the booth and extended his hand toward Myrna.
“Four hours? I’ll die by then.” He took Brian’s vacated seat and peered into
the fishy-smelling bag.
“I’m sure you can find something to eat in the fridge.” Myrna slid from the
booth, took Brian’s hand and glanced back at Trey. “What did you guys do with
yourselves before I joined the tour?”
“We were barely alive,” Trey said. “Drowning in our own filth.
Malnourished. Scrawny. Anemic. On our last limb.” He stretched out a hand
toward her, his head collapsing on the table as he played dead.
She chuckled. “You poor babies.”
Brian tugged her toward the bedroom. “You’re too good to us.”
“I like taking care of you guys. You’ve all become important to me over the
past month.”
“Even Eric?”
She laughed. “Yes, even Eric.”
“You’re important to all of us, too,” he said. “I can’t remember the last time
we felt so… settled.”
Settled? Ugh. “I’m a drag, aren’t I?”
Brian tugged her through the bedroom door and pulled her against his body,
kissing her hungrily. He kicked the door closed.
“Not a drag,” he murmured. “You’re wonderful. Like I said, too good for the
likes of us.”
She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Your lies are good for my ego.”
“I’d never lie to you,” he whispered, his lips trailing lightly over the skin of
her cheek to her ear. He drew her earlobe into his mouth, pressing it against his
upper teeth with his tongue. Her breath caught. She forgot about everything but
him.
His hands moved to the buttons of her shirt, releasing them one at a time as
his tongue rubbed the sensitive spot behind her ear. Her fingers curled into his
hard chest as she swayed against him.
He brushed her shirt off her shoulders and moved his mouth to her collarbone,
kissing her skin gently. So gently it made her want to cry.
“Brian?” she whispered.
He lifted his head to look at her. “Hmm?”
“You’re being tender.”
“You don’t like it?”
“I didn’t say that. I just wondered what brought it on all of a sudden.”
He grinned. “Jace needs bass music. I have to slow it down a little.”
She placed her hands on his face and rose on tiptoes to kiss his lips. “Is that
all? I thought maybe you had something to tell me.”
His brows drew together. He swallowed hard and fixed his gaze on her
forehead. “Like what?”
“You’ve thought up something kinky and figured you’d better soften me up
before springing your trap.”
“You think I have a one track mind.” He sighed and shook his head slightly.
“Sometimes I think this is hopeless.”
Her heart thudded painfully in her chest. Ever since they’d returned from
Kansas City, he’d been acting strangely. Like he wanted to break up with her or
something. And after being so rudely introduced to Myrna’s past baggage, who
could blame him? But it wasn’t something she could change. Jeremy had left a
big impact on her life whether Brian liked it or not. “I don’t know what you want
from me, Brian.”
“Yes, you do. That’s why it scares you when I’m tender with you.”
So this wasn’t about her past. This was about their future. “I’m not scared.”
But she was. Terrified. Mostly because she couldn’t picture a future without him
in it.
“Can you let me be tender without making it into a joke?”
“I’m not making it into a joke.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “You’re not?”
“I’ll be quiet.”
“Just stop thinking so much and feel,” he said. “And I don’t mean your body.
I know you feel me with your body. I mean here.” He placed three fingertips on
her chest over her heart. “I don’t think you ever listen to what’s going on in
here.”
“I lis—”
He covered her mouth with his fingertips. “Shhh.”
Something had changed in him. She could see it in his eyes. He looked…
desperate.
“Bri—”
“Shhh.”
“But—”
“Shhh.”
She nodded. He removed his fingers from her mouth. She bit her lip. He
stared down at her, obviously struggling with words. She waited for him to say
something, but he lowered his head and kissed her instead. His feelings of
desperation came through in his kiss as well.
“Just love me, Myrna,” he whispered against her lips. “Please.”
She turned her head to break his kiss. “What did you say?”
He stared over her head, swallowing several times. “Make love to me, Myrna.
Please.”
That’s not what he’d said, but she could accept his amended words. She
couldn’t accept his original plea. The look on his face as he struggled to conceal
his emotions made her heart ache. She touched his face and his gaze shifted to
hers. “Tenderly. That’s what you need, right?”
He nodded slightly. She nodded, too, tears prickling her eyes. She would have
given anything to have met Brian before Jeremy. Then it wouldn’t be so
goddamned hard to uncover what she concealed in her heart and accept what
was in his.
They undressed each other slowly until they stood before each other naked,
both excited and soothed. Her hands slid over the warm skin of his chest. Her
lips followed in their wake.
“This is when you sweep me up into your arms and carry me to bed,” he said.
She laughed. “Hey, I’m trying to be serious.”
“Who said I wasn’t being serious?” He grinned down at her, and then gasped
as she wrapped her arms around his waist and lifted his feet several inches off
the floor. She took a couple of steps and dumped him on the bed. He laughed,
covering his eyes with his hands. His laughter warmed her heart. It was one of
the many things she loved, erm, liked about this man.
“Sorry, I kind of flubbed that one. I need to work out more. Puny biceps.” She
climbed onto the bed beside him, urging him to scoot up toward the headboard.
“And this is the part where I rub rose petals over your skin, right?”
“I think we’re fresh out of rose petals.”
“Close your eyes.” She loosened her hair from the clip holding it in place at
the back of her head. He closed his eyes. She leaned over him and trailed her
long, thick hair over his belly. “Imagine this is rose petals.”
“I like knowing what it really is better. Wrap it around my cock.”
“We’re being tender, Brian, remember?”
“That’s not tender?”
“Tenderness doesn’t involve your cock at all and especially not wrapping my
hair around it.”
His eyes flipped open. “You’re kidding!”
She covered his lips with her fingers. “Shhh. Close your eyes.”
He hesitated for a moment and then obeyed.
“I’m going to touch every inch of you,” she whispered. “Kiss every inch.”
He grabbed his half-hard cock and stroked it from base to tip. “All ten? Give
me a minute. He’s not quite ready yet.”
She laughed. “Now who’s making jokes?”
He winked at her. “Sorry. I’ll behave.”
Her feather light touches began with his left hand. The bruises had faded and
the swelling had gone down, but she would never forget that terrifying wait for
his X-ray results. She’d been convinced that he’d never play guitar again and it
would have been all her fault.
She trailed her fingers over the palm of his hand, the thick calluses on his
fingertips, and back to his palm. His fingers curled involuntarily.
Involving her lips now, she kissed his palm while moving her tender touch to
his wrist and up his forearm. She sucked his ring finger into her mouth and he
groaned. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his cock twitch in response. She
withdrew his finger from her mouth and kissed her way to the inside of his wrist.
Extending her arm, she continued to stroke his skin as she kissed her way up
the inside of his forearm to the inner surface of his elbow. Her questing fingers
found the crisp hairs surrounding his nipple. She teased the hairs, her middle
finger brushing against his nipple as she sucked on the inside of his elbow.
She loved touching him, experiencing his body in slow motion, but soon she
was craving his intoxicating touch. She shifted her body so her breast was
positioned in his hand. He squeezed gently.
Her nipple strained against his palm, desiring more rigorous attention.
When he relaxed his hold, she moved up his arm again, kissing a trail over his
hard biceps toward his shoulder, dragging her hardened nipple over the inside of
his forearm. Her belly clenched with need. Being tender with him was really
turning her on.
Her hand slid across his chest as her mouth found his throat.
“Brian,” she murmured, her kisses becoming less tender, more excited as she
worked her way up the side of his neck to his ear. She plunged her tongue into
his ear and his body jerked.
He chuckled. “Are you getting worked up already, baby?”
“You do this to me, Brian. Only you.” She kissed a trail along the hard angle
of his cheekbone and found his mouth. She shifted her body so that his hand was
between her thighs. He didn’t move his fingers to touch her though he must feel
her heat, her moisture, her need.
“Touch me,” she panted into his mouth.
When he didn’t comply, she tugged her mouth away from his and reached
between her legs, guiding his fingers into her body. She rocked her hips against
his hand, burying his fingers deeper.
“You’re just not very good at this tenderness stuff, are you?”
She looked down at him and cringed. She’d lost her intent in her own
excitement. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not going to pretend I don’t like that I turn you on so much you shove
my fingers inside your body. It’s hot.” He twisted his hand slightly and she
shuddered. He pulled his hand away. “Finish what you were doing. I’ll fuck you
good and hard when you’re finished. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes, hard. And fast. Gentle. Slow. I want it all as long as it involves your
neglected cock.”
But she couldn’t neglect it any longer. She turned and slid down the length of
his body, belly-to-belly but upside down. She took his shaft in her hand and
licked its head.
“Mmmmm,” he murmured.
He grabbed her hips and lifted his head to rub his chin against her clit. She
gasped and sucked him into her mouth. His tongue traced the emptiness at her
core, drawing her attention to the vacant feeling inside until she couldn’t
concentrate on anything else.
She had to have him. Needed what he gave her. What she could never get
enough of. Him.
She released his cock from her mouth and slid down his body, straddling his
hips. She didn’t turn to face him, but guided his cock into her body backwards
and sank down, driving him deep.
Whore, Jeremy’s voice whispered through her thoughts.
She hesitated. Brian gasped and tilted his hips to drive himself deeper still.
His fingers ran down the center of her back and she arched backward, her long
hair trailing over his chest.
You like that, don’t you, whore?
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Feels good.”
Brian shifted beneath her and she glanced over her shoulder to find him
propped up on his elbows, gazing down where their bodies were joined. She
smiled and reached down to massage his balls gently. She rode him slowly,
trying to remember he wanted tenderness from her.
He slid a finger up her ass and she gasped, pausing as he plunged it in and out
of her several times. “Oh,” she gasped.
“Do you like that?”
“Yeah.”
Filthy whore.
She rubbed her ear against her shoulder, hoping to silence Jeremy’s everpresent criticism. Brian pulled his finger out and she heard the side table drawer
open, followed by the hum of a vibrator. He placed a hand on her back to ease
her upward and then carefully slid a slender vibrator up her ass. She shuddered.
“Ah,” he gasped, his head dropping back to the bed. “I can feel it inside you,
vibrating against my cock.”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. He was biting his lip, his head tilted
back in sensual abandon. “Does it feel good?”
“Oh yeah,” he gasped. His belly clenched as his back arched in ecstasy. “Ride
me, sweetheart. Oh God, don’t sit still.”
“I want to watch your face.”
His cock fell free of her body as she turned to face him. He grabbed her hips
eagerly as she took him inside again. The vibrator drove her crazy. She rode him
fast, rubbing his cock up and down the vibration with each penetration. It felt
amazing, but watching his response was far more stimulating. He gripped the
bedclothes beneath him, writhing in time to her movement.
He grabbed her hips to still her. “God, baby. We have to take that out or I’m
going to explode. Like, immediately.”
She took his wrists and pinned them to either side of his head. She began to
rise and fall over him again, moving fast to drive him over the brink. She cried
out as an orgasm shook her unexpectedly.
“Oh wow,” she gasped.
She released Brian’s wrist and pressed her fingers against her clit to try to
calm herself so she could finish him. She rode him even faster, until he was
calling her name each time their bodies came together. A muscle in his cheek
began to twitch. It always twitched when he was close. Almost, baby. Just let go.
There was nothing sexier than watching this man come, and though she’d seen it
dozens of times, she never tired of it.
He’s a whore, too, Jeremy’s voice said.
Yeah, he was. And she wouldn’t want him any other way.
Brian’s head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut, lips parted. He gasped. His face
contorted with ecstasy and then his entire body went rigid. He shuddered, crying
out hoarsely, as his fingers gripped the covers beneath him.
Perfect. The man was perfect. Perfect for her. And she loved him.
She loved him.
She did.
How could she not?
She needed to tell him.
Needed to say it. I love you, Brian. Her heart stuttered and then raced. Perhaps
she’d find the courage to tell him tomorrow.
Or next year.
Brian’s body relaxed, but he began to twitch uncontrollably. He lifted her
away by her hips. “That’s a bit much,” he whispered. “I can’t stand it.”
She giggled and removed the vibrator from her body. “I think you liked it.”
“I liked it too much.” He reached for a score sheet and jotted down a single
line of chords. “Jace will be pleased with our naughtiness.” He tossed the music
aside and drew her against his body.
“Not as pleased as I am.”
“God, that was fucking fantastic, wasn’t it?”
She nodded in agreement.
He kissed her tenderly, stroking her bare arm. “Now I’m sleepy,” he
murmured.
“Take a nap. I’ll be here when you wake up. We’ll try that tenderness thing
again.” She smiled. “I’ll get it right eventually, though it might take me a few
hundred attempts.”
He chuckled sleepily and tucked her body against his. “Practice makes
perfect, baby.”
She lay there listening to him breathe as she blinked languidly.
“I love you, Myrna,” he whispered, just before he drifted off to sleep. “I really
do… love… you…”
Her breath caught. He loved her? Somehow, she knew he did, but until he’d
said the words, it hadn’t felt real.
Her heart lodged in her throat, Myrna watched Brian sleep for several
minutes. She touched his face tenderly and kissed his cheek. Maybe she could
say it while he was asleep. Just to try out the words for the first time. “I love
you, too,” she whispered.
His eyes flipped open.
He was awake? Shit. Shit! Now there was no taking it back.
His smile spread ear-to-ear. He looked as giddy as one of his fan girls. “Did
you just say that you love me?”
She opened her mouth to deny it, but nodded instead. “I think I’ve been
waiting for you to tell me,” she whispered, “and I was too afraid to say it first.”
“You’ve been waiting for me to say it?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I just realized…”
He laughed and kissed her gently with tears in his eyes. “I was afraid I’d
chase you away by telling you.”
“Ten minutes ago, you probably would have. But that was then. This is now.”
He hugged her against him. “Ah Myrna, I think I’ve loved you since I took
my first breath.” He rubbed his lips against her forehead.
She tried swallowing her emotion, but it did no good. Her throat closed off.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to recognize it,” she said breathlessly. “To say it.”
“If you were really sorry, you’d say it again.” He cupped her cheek and
leaned back to look her in the eyes. His thumb brushed across her lower lip.
She took a deep breath. “I love you, Brian. Master Sinclair. Brian… I love
you.” She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again, her heart
thudding in her chest. “I love you so much it terrifies me.”
He leaned forward and kissed her deeply. “Don’t be afraid, Myr. I love you
more than I could ever put into words, but I won’t fail you. I promise. This love,
our love, is forever.”
Forever with Brian? Yeah, she might be able to handle that.
She smiled, her fears dissipating. She trusted this man with her heart.
Completely.
“You know,” he said, “we’ll be in Nevada for a show next week. Wanna go to
Vegas and get married?”
Staring into her future’s eyes, she grinned at him. Butterfly wings fluttered
around her buoyant heart. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Acknowledgments
I honestly can’t imagine a world without music, and if such a world exists, I
wouldn’t want to live there. So I offer heartfelt thanks to the hundreds of
musicians who fill my world with magnificent, creative sound. I don’t think I
could get through a day if I didn’t have music to touch my heart and soul in
some way.
I’d like to thank my family for being understanding and patient when I’m in
“the writing zone” and for never giving up on me or my dream. Their unending
support and faith in my ability means more than they’ll ever know. Sean, you’ll
always be my favorite guitar hero.
I’d like to thank my second readers, Sherilyn Winrose, Judi Fennell, and Kat
Sheridan, for offering their excellent, professional opinions and advice on this
work. How many times did you read this manuscript, Sherilyn? I think you know
it better than I do. And Judi, what can I say? You know the craft inside, outside,
upside down and are always generous with that knowledge.
Kudos to my online writing group, The Writin’ Wombats. It’s been fun and
sometimes heartbreaking to share our hardships and triumphs as both authors
and friends over the years. I wouldn’t be where I am today without their
knowledge, help, support, and occasional kicks in the pants. I raise a toast to our
continued success and offer a virtual hug to any who are struggling.
Major thanks to my agent Jennifer Schober, who gets me through the business
side of this and keeps me grounded. Trust me, I need that.
Finally, I’d like to thank my sensational editor Deb Werksman, her everhelpful associate, Susie Benton, and all the folks at Sourcebooks who believed in
a debut writer enough to give her a chance to live her dream.
About the Author
Raised on hard rock music from the cradle, Olivia Cunning attended her first
Styx concert at age six and fell instantly in love with live music. She’s been
known to travel over a thousand miles just to see a favorite band in concert. She
discovered her second love, romantic fiction, as a teen—first, voraciously
reading steamy romance novels and then penning her own. She currently lives in
Nebraska.
